Harry Potter Theater Rant


I just got out of the theater after watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.  It was great.  It was absolutely everything that someone would want in the finale of such a long running story, and I fully recommend it to anyone that has been keeping up with it.  It was satisfying to the point that almost the entire sold out theater (10 o’clock in the morning!) was laughing, cheering, and clapping in response to various scenes.  This is a pretty pointless thing to say though, because you’ve probably already seen it.  When a movie gets 97% positive reviews you really don’t need another person to tell you that it’s good.

When I was leaving the theater I heard someone complaining that all the “douches” in the theater kept applauding the movie.  He was speaking in the derpy sort of tone that you’d expect  from a sixth-grader that just called someone “hella gay.”  Similar comments have sprung up from others, like AH_BrownMan, who apparently don’t give a shit about Harry Potter but for some reason were at the midnight premiere or went to see it on the first day.

How can people not understand that this is the whole point?  Movies, plays, and books are all an exercise in empathy.  You’re supposed to care about the characters and what they’re going through.  You’re supposed to share in their happiness and sorrow.  Every good movie strives for an emotional reaction, and this was true for the entire Harry Potter series.  We’re talking about eight movies that came out over the course of ten years.  I saw the first movie where Harry was 11 years old when I was the same age.  I grew up along with him both figuratively and literally, and I cared what happened.  I worried about what would come of his friends, I mourned the loss of his various surrogate father figures, and I shared in his triumph.  While Herpy

Not really, actually. I just love to blow a nagging feeling out of proportion because ranting is fun.

Derp was guffawing at the silly faggots that were in love with their stupid wizard flick I was having an experience, because that’s why I go to the theater in the first place.  Do you know what someone without empathy is?  A psychopath.  By definition, actually.

If you’re that kind of person why don’t you just go see Transformers 3 instead?  I’m sure you’ll love all of the stone age humor and pretty explosions.  Afterward you can go home and challenge your totally-not-gay friend to a flexing competition before pretending that a shiny car is a substitute for a personality.  Don’t worry, I’m sure whatever airhead you have the hots for totally thinks that your sideways hat and Tapout shirt look super cool.  Don’t forget to tattoo your name across the back of your shoulders if you haven’t already.

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