Ranting While Playing: Splinter Cell Conviction

Nice Stranglehold main menu background you’ve got there.

This doesn’t really feel like a stealth game.  It feels like a dark cover-based shooter where you can get the drop on your enemies.  Isn’t the whole “no kills run” supposed to be a big part of stealth games?  Knock out or tranquilize everyone?  So far I’ve been slaughtering goonies in large numbers with no other options presented to me.

I’m just walking down the street like a normal person among civilians and people start shooting at me the moment they see me?  So much for stealth.  I didn’t know that guards were trained to shoot every person in a grey shirt that they see.

Wow, horrible faces in this game.

Sam Fisher’s voice actor sounds like a very confused man.  One unsure of what tone, accent, or emotion to fail at using.

The platforming between Assassin’s Creed, Prince of Persia, and Splinter Cell really starts to blend and blur after a while.  Ubisoft’s more playable properties seem to be merging over time.

Wow, Sam just spoke with his daughter that he thought was dead and emotions were popping up on the walls in writing.  Trying to compensate for the total lack of voice talent much?

Clearly this is a stealth game. You can barely see Sam at all.

Months later, after completing about half of the game and losing all interest:  Meh, no intention of finishing this game.  One of my biggest pet peeves with “stealth” games is that they frequently force you into combat situations that contradict the overall game premise.  In games like Metal Gear Solid and Splinter Cell it’s incredibly awkward to actually try and fight someone, so you’re supposed to stay in the shadows and avoid conflict whenever possible.  MGS has boss fights though, and Splinter Cell loves to send hordes of enemies at you on a regular basis.  It’s just not fun at all.  At least in Assassin’s Creed when you end up in a combat situation the game is still fun to play.  If I die in that game I feel like it’s genuinely my fault.  If I die in Splinter Cell it usually feels like it’s because I was fighting against the clunky cover system and awkward controls while also trying to take down enemies.

I guess I might as well just say that stealth + guns = no fun.


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