Archive for rant
The game starts with a few seconds of a helicopter crash followed by a “Six Months Earlier” flashback. A crash with no context isn’t interesting! This is not how you tell a story! Read more »
The main menu features an animated background with a tall structure sticking out of stormy waters. Behind that in the distance there is a tower firing a laser into the sky, which is causing the clouds above to swirl. Borrowing liberally from Bioshock and Half-Life 2 here, aren’t we? I get the feeling this will be a trend.
No subtitles. This game is already losing points for me. Read more »
These are probably the smallest subtitles I’ve ever seen.
Wait, what? The game is giving me a shooting tutorial in the second chapter? What was the point of the first one? Read more »
The animation is lazy to the point where it needs to be seen to be believed.
The string that connects all notes seems to serve absolutely no purpose other than making crowded sections of notes incomprehensible. Read more »
My allies tend to just run past all of the enemies without even getting shot at, leaving me entirely on my own to fight through the level. Nice AI.
“Friendly Fire Will Not Be Tolerated!” Then maybe you should make enemies and allies actually look different? Read more »
Ezio seems to immediately forget about the ending of the previous game. He wanders around town, helping random villagers while talking about how all of his battles are finished. Everything is shiny and happy, and nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong. Really fucking subtle, Ubisoft. I might not have caught on if I had never played a single RPG in my entire life. Read more »
Wait, so what’s going on with the intro of this game? Is it even relevant to the plot?
The writing is either terrible or terribly translated. Characters repeat themselves over and over again, and frequently speak like infants. Read more »
In Divinity II (Dragon Age: Origins) you’re a member of an elite order known as the Dragon Slayers (Greywardens) whose sole purpose is to wipe out the Dragon Knights (Darkspawn). The ritual for becoming a Dragon Slayer (The Joining) involves forcing Dragon memories (Darkspawn Blood) into your body Read more »
I’m really amazed by how ugly some of the early xbox games were. Did they forget that this was a new, more powerful console? If you’re going to use the same polygons, fine, but you could at least render the textures properly. There’s just no excuse for pixelated faces in this generation.
Why does every character other than me have the same skateboard? Read more »